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As you might imagine if you can feel into those particular sensations, it can be difficult to tolerate. Though familiarity does bring some amount of comfort. Part of the beauty of somatic work is in making space for healing by learning and practicing how to experience pain in a tolerable way. The aim is always for experiences to be embodied rather than solely intellectual, and the intellect and senses can be helpfully bridged with the right words. So I hope this term and its framing can be a support in our ever-progressing process of learning how to be vulnerable.

For reasons that are just now becoming conscious for me, I have been steeping myself in wildness more than ever. When I use the word wildness , I mean that which exists in parallel to our lives: plants that grow in cracks in our sidewalks and at the edges of our yards, the coyotes that come down into urban neighborhoods from the Santa Monica Mountains, and, of course, the night sky.

These things are not separate from or unaffected by us, and yet they have this entire existence onto themselves that we typically know very little about. Like the body, where we can look for some of the clearest and simplest information, the wildness of nature offers us tremendous wisdom. My re-acquaintance with wildness seems to have begun through gardening. More and more plants are showing up in my yard, in my home, and in my office.

My clients can certainly attest to this change, which became especially apparent when a tree in a twenty gallon pot appeared atop my filing cabinet. It requires us to be present, to be tuned in, to be hands-on. We have to be aware of ourselves, the space we take up, and the impact we have. With gardening in particular, we must be committed witnesses who take action on what we see.

We have to experiment to find the right course of action. Sometimes we have to be patient as a process unfolds. And all of this gets to happen alongside enjoying the beauty, oxygen, medicine, and food that plants have to offer. With the intention of finding more words for some of these felt experiences, I just took a pause from writing to go outside for a little gardening, and was reminded of a major component of tending to the earth.

I have two passion fruit plants, which I sprouted from the seeds of a few fruits that I ate last year. They grow rather slowly, but just recently have begun to really look like plants. Last week I noticed a caterpillar munching on one of the plants, so I moved it as politely as possible.

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Just now when I went out to transplant something nearby, I saw that one of the two plants was completely eaten, and that my caterpillar friends of which there are now four have begun on the other. Therein lies the challenge that brings humility. Do I keep fighting the caterpillars? Do I kill them? Fortunately those moments are blessedly rare, and that was very important to discover. We so often approach situations with a zero sum mentality when in actuality, nature rarely works that way. When we give to it, it gives to us. So it comes down to: do I want passion fruit, butterflies, or to plant more of something or other that the caterpillars might focus on instead?

Seems like a pretty fair deal to me. In this way, gardening is both self-care and activism.

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I get to grow and so do plants. Selfishness accumulates and eventually it affects others before finally returning to us. Plants are everywhere in our art. Geometric shapes have dominated the furniture market for several years now. Simple shapes, raw wood, brick, beautiful glass… we are surrounding ourselves with basic elements.

We must need it. And just look at all of this grounding, evocative, nature-based work…. Notice how many themes are repeated across the pieces: plants, intermingling, growth, the feminine, birth and death. I am most definitely a sucker for symbology, and know well through my studies and experiences what a profound impact it can have on our psyches. Notice how often heads are replaced by plants. Just ponder that.

Feel into it. My hope for this time is that this love for the natural world does not fade from us as trends do, that we understand how badly we need to make lifelong friends with nature and wildness, and that we incorporate this knowledge into our institutions in such a way that it cannot be lost again. At some point during our childhoods, most of us have felt the lure of magic. We see witches and warlocks in our books, movies and television shows, and although we usually harbor some healthy doubt about it all, magic still just seems so possible.

We need reminders of the power and cunning of both ourselves and nature. It boosts our willingness to try things, to reflect on our ability to impact others and the world, and to simply enjoy the power of autonomy. Halloween can be an excellent excuse for seeking out such reminders and basking in that playful spookiness.

Last autumn, I got together with a few friends to re-watch the film for the first time since I was a teen. I was fully prepared to giggle at myself a little for being so very taken by the story. Instead, I was thrilled to find a wealth of metaphors and important feminist life lessons within. I became aware of my incredible luck at being thirteen when the film came out, and how applicable it all still is. Not only are these lessons still relevant, many of them are vital to our movement forward out of our current collective psychic crisis. And have you noticed the increase in interest in natural magic?

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Magic leans heavily on forces that we have largely lost track of as a respected part of culture: intuition, instinct, benevolence, symbolism, and reverence for the earth. And they can be. The Craft tugs at our innate knowing that the feminine is extraordinarily powerful.

One of the damaging effects of patriarchy is the loss of awareness that the feminine is powerful enough to be dangerous if embodied accordingly. I remember well what I felt when I first saw that scene; it was an experience of empowered relief. The assumption that young women are inherently at risk for harm was not only rejected, it was met with a playful threat. My little thirteen-year-old self felt seen and respected and excited. To craft is to create with intention. It is to work at something, refining it over time.

And all of the lessons within this film have to do with being active and aware while engaged in a process. The lessons in The Craft are a sweet little guidebook for answering those questions, and they boil down to four elements of course : the importance of embracing magic, how to hone your skills, what to watch out for, and how to make your craft sustainable.

Embrace your power with both confidence and humility. Sarah and Nancy are our two stark examples here. When we are introduced to Sarah, we learn that she is being plagued by snakes. Historically, snakes represent both good and evil- creation in all its forms. This struggle results in depression and suicidality, a direct result of the neglect of her unique abilities.

Despite this, she begins and ends the most balanced character. When we first see her use magic, she is simply playing with it to amuse herself. That is an excellent way to begin your relationship with just about anything. Curiosity and exploration are fruitful attributes.

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These things provide a solidity that we see in her often. And as we see later on, it is especially through the healing of her relationship with her mother that she is able to embrace and embody her power. As soon as she is able to embody some power, she clamors for more. Surrender to natural forces.

Traditions come with intentions, which sometimes just get lost along the way or lose their usefulness. So what ever your relationship to this sort of earth-based spirituality, there is wisdom to be gained through looking at these symbols. Each direction is associated with an element and further so with the attributes of those elements. These associations are not always agreed upon, which works just fine. The intention is simply to embrace and respect what they represent, not the symbol itself. These qualities show up across cultures and religions often in sets of threes or fours , because they are inescapable truths.

We are living on a planet that has a natural rhythym and cycles, and these cycles affect us. Embracing and utilizing this awareness allows us to experience, explore and make use of different aspects and expressions of ourselves. This is part of how we grow by trying on a variety of ways to be.

And so the girls surrender themselves to Manon in order to tap into their deepest magical abilities. Manon represents an embodiment of nature; a figure symbolizing our wild nature. For me this is another extraordinarily important feminist lesson from The Craft. While what that term means is quite subjective, it is almost universally accepted the the feminine is deeply connected to nature.

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I believe that that is exactly what the feminine has to teach the masculine right now- that all of these attributes must be honored collectively. And so, this ritual of invoking Manon represents a union between the masculine and the feminine or more simply put, an embracing of reality. Those who understand the psychotherapeutic process know this well. We are stagnated by any lack of facing truth. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. I hope this flows intuitively from the topic of truth and surrender. Vulnerability is a huge part of how good things come into fruition.

It is essential to our ability to feel and enjoy things, because it allows us to be affected. It is how we connect authentically to others by bearing the skin we wish to have touched. And it is only through feeling and connecting that we can wield useful, healthy magic. Spells are simply the repetition of messages.

What we repeat to ourselves is incredibly powerful, and it almost always yields results. Bonnie describes this in so many words when they first take Sarah to the magic shop. She offers Sarah a spellbook in which she can write her most precious thoughts and desires, which she is to share with no one except maybe the coven. Though they begin as symbols, words become truer and realer the more often we encounter them. They can penetrate, unlock, inspire, tear down- they are ultimately capable of doing what ever it is they intend to do. And this is especially true when they are adopted by an increasing number of people, whether it be your coven or your culture.

Seek your elders. I wish there were a way to impart this lesson very early. I suppose there is, as cultures that know this well do a pretty great job of engendering it. Lirio the shopkeeper is a beautiful example of the helpful relationship one can have with an elder. She also points Sarah back to her own family, in this case, as a source of wisdom and power. Be reflective. This means we must actively seek growth and regularly heed warnings.

But as can happen in group dynamics, her warning is won out by the power of willful disinterest. Had Nancy or any of the girls spent some time self-reflecting on what Sarah said, they may have discovered some of their unresolved bits and been able to avoid some or all of the damage that came down the road. And knowing ourselves and having some insight about others is essential to the collective ability to safely be and express ourselves in the world. Desperation drives greed.

Desperation is excellent at causing us to hatch sloppy and too-simple plans, because it causes us to overfocus on ourselves in an attempt at survival. This failure to take in your periphery can cause a lot of damage, and ultimately results in a lack of satisfaction. Use power for or with, not against. Nancy is a useful character here too, both in the aforementioned ways as well as in the final dramatic scene when she attempts to destroy Sarah.

But my favorite iteration of this comes through Rochelle, because it includes more complexity. After being mercilessly bullied by racist mean girl Laura, Rochelle casts a spell on her that causes her to begin losing her hair. But through the strength of the spell, it becomes humiliating and terrifying instead. As she allows it to go on, shame grows inside of her, culminating in that perfect scene where she looks in the mirror to find that her reflection refuses to look back.

What a useful warning this is, because it really can be terribly tempting to inflict pain on those who have hurt us. But it just never feels the way we want it to. And any failure to recognize this over-correction is a strong indication of desperation for power, as with Nancy. What you put out comes back times three. This particular articulation is drawn from the Wiccan Three-Fold Law, but we also know it as karma, the gospel of Matthew, equilibrium, the Golden Rule, the fourth step, or seven generation stewardship. When it comes to nature, you can practically write an equation for it.

Fuck with balance, and eventually you will be shoved as strongly as needed back into place. It is in experiencing this natural law that we learn to be acutely aware of the effects of our impact. Be mindful of the entirety of your wishes. We covered this a bit in looking at how desperation can cause blindspots for complexity and nuance. Sarah, for instance, did not ask to be understood, accepted, or respected by Chris; she asked to be loved.

When her spell works and his love for her is devoid of other attributes, the result is off-putting and even gets dangerous. For me this is one of the most current and important feminist messages within the film.

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For a relationship to go well, all parties must be acknowledged as distinct, whole, complex, and autonomous. But internalized sexism can cause us to overlook the need for that kind of understanding and respect, because a scarcity of those experiences results in an unlearned lesson about how vital they are for healthy relationships. Stay humble. If you try to own it, overuse it, or use it for harm, there will be consequences. This too is reflected back to us by nature. I find this to be gut-wrenchingly apparent when dozens of sea creatures wash ashore, and Nancy takes this not as an indication of over-doing it, but as a gift from Manon.

The loss of any life deserves consideration and respect. Otherwise we risk entering dangerous hierarchical thinking. Allow things to play out. This is another way in which we must surrender and remain humble. Autonomy and magic is not about continuously wielding control.

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It simply takes time to see how something will unfold, and that gives us needed space for reflection and adaptation. Feed your intuition. This lesson is delivered and then practiced in an especially delightful way, as the writing plucks at our intuition over and over. The overarching message here is always the same: feed your intuition by listening to it. While dedicating their lives to relieving emotional suffering without being judgmental, they fear compromising their reputations if they publicly acknowledge such suffering in themselves.

This phenomenon is nearly universal among those in the helping professions, yet there are few books dedicated to the issue. Product details Format Hardback pages Dimensions x x Review quote 'Dr. Sharon Farber's new book condenses a great deal of information that is vital to all of us who practice psychotherapy and psychoanalysis. Her unique focus is on the way so many of us are "wounded healers," the way we utilize our own history of wounds - abuse, abandonment, mis-attunement, violence, narrative distortions - to recognize and heal the wounds of our patients.

She also shows how some become "wounding healers," how what we do with patients can become a repetition of what was done to us. Jung was one of the first to describe the wounded healer and Freud a major example of someone who, in avoiding his own history of loss and neglect, became a wounding healer. One of Farber's central points is that one's own therapy or analysis is crucial in using one's history in effective ways.

The book is filled with case examples that illustrate these themes, including ten chapters written by other therapists, each with a specific focus that enriches and expands the major points. Overall, the book is scholarly and well researched, clearly and compellingly written, with evocative imagery that brings the material alive. Her focus is on people who became therapists, partly as a way of healing themselves by helping others. The idea that a psychotherapist suffers injuries shared by many is neither idealized nor debunked.

What matters is the creative response to what one must go through and the value this has for therapeutic work. Seller assumes all responsibility for this listing. Item specifics Condition: Like New: A book that looks new but has been read. Cover has no visible wear, and the dust jacket if applicable is included for hard covers.

May be very minimal identifying marks on the inside cover.

Celebrating the Wounded Healer Psychotherapist: Pain, Post-Traumatic Growth and Self-Disclosure

Very minimal wear and tear. See all condition definitions - opens in a new window or tab Read more about the condition. About this product. It is well-known within the field that psychoanalysts and psychotherapists are often drawn to their future professions as a result of early traumatic experiences and being helped by their own psychoanalytic treatment.

While dedicating their lives to relieving emotional suffering without being judgmental, they fear compromising their reputations if they publicly acknowledge such suffering in themselves. This phenomenon is nearly universal among those in the helping professions, yet there are few books dedicated to the issue. Shipping and handling.

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