At best, they leave their kids in the care of nannies or of other functioning adults, and at worst — all out neglect. At an early age, these children realize they are on their own in this world, and they must take care of themselves, and any younger siblings. They learn that the parent is basically useless and cannot be relied on.
These children literally take life into their own hands. They can become resilient, resourceful and strongly independent. When they become adults, they realize that their childhood made them mistrustful and it can be hard for them to get close to people. The ones who had to take care of younger siblings too usually never want children of their own. These parents are extremely toxic and dangerous to children.
They treat their kids as slaves and punching bags, as tools who have zero feelings. The children are there to serve them. This type of NPD can be physically abusive. Talk to your lawyer about getting the children removed asap. CORA ia a wonderful organization that offers support, legal services, and counseling. They even offer crisis intervention and emergency housing. Your kids will need it. Imagine being partly raised by one. A good therapist can help mitigate the horrid impact that a narcissistic parent has on the emotional health of your children.
Get them to go once a week if possible, for as long as they need…which may be well into adulthood. Think of therapy as damage-control — the sooner you start, the better. Your ex NPD will still want to control everything financial. They feel entitled to your money too. Despite that fact that I make a tiny fraction of what my ex makes. He sent me a bill for a pair of socks once. I guess he needs the money to keep flying his high-class escorts around the world.
My ex loves to sow those rumor seeds. Spreading vicious lies about me, the mother of his children, gives him joy. They will present themselves as innocent victims of their evil ex yes, you.
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Narcissists will have a nonstop and well-rehearsed litany of complaints about you to spew to anyone within earshot, all the while making themselves appear to be the perfect parent. They will tell people that the divorce was all your fault. Poor little them — abandoned and discarded for no reason at all. And people will believe them, for they are awfully good at what they do. They will trash you as a parent to other parents around town. Some believed him, making it so they refused to let their kids have play-dates with my son at our house. Whenever we invited a kid over, the parent would get visibly uncomfortable and then not-so-slyly suggest the playdate be held at their place instead.
But even more damaging abusive actually is that a narcissistic co-parent will speak badly about you to your own kids. Insane thinking, I know. Do they not know love is limitless? They believe that by making you look bad, they look better. NPDs will continue to do what they do best: triangulate, trash talk, and control. Only now that the focus is off of you, it is needs redirection. Every good narcissist needs a target, and it could be your kids. He acts like a general and her, his loyal soldier. When he calls for a cease fire usually because he wants something from me , she can then be at ease, and acts decent to me.
He reinforces that the divorce was all my fault time and time again her, keeping me the enemy. Not only am I the enemy, everyone in my household is too: my husband, her baby half-sister, even our dog. My son, a seemly older soul, is more resilient to his smack-talking.
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Some kids are. Where when my daughter witnesses him foaming at the mouth with anger towards me over something trivial, she says. This is one of the most heart-breaking things that can happen to a family. The loss of precious time with your child is time you can never get back. Much like with NPD in the hands of the family court system, parental alienation as also a hard thing to recognize and prove.
Here are some important tactics:. Avoid your narcissist ex whenever possible and ignore their cruel remarks. Narcissists like making noise, tune it out. Stop all communication immediately. Co-parenting with an NPD can be like banging your head against a wall. Much like when you were married. Stick to brief, basic, to the point, interactions text or email is best. Write a review. See any care plans, options and policies that may be associated with this product. Email address. Please enter a valid email address.
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